Looper The Movie Sucked and Here Is Why
Looper The Movie Sucked
I am going to spare you all the usual filler copy of going on for three paragraphs explaining the detailed plot of the movie. I figure that if you are here, then you understand the basic premise of Looper starring Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the same character separated by 30 years across time.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the premise of the movie, it’s an excellent idea for a movie and has the potential to be a real mind bender. It’s the execution of the movie where this breaks down. Badly.
I’m sure a lot of people including myself was hoping to see a Bruce Willis action sci-fi movie. By the end of the movie I felt as if I had fallen for one those “Bait & Switch” scams you see run on Craigslist or something. One of my biggest complaints about this movie is just that, Bruce Willis doesn’t show up until an hour into the movie with his and Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s onscreen time totaling less than 5 minutes together. If you’ve seen the extended movie trailers of them in the roadside diner together, then you’ve seen about 95% of their entire interaction with each other. Bruce Willis’ total time in this movie is less than 15 minutes out of the 1 hr 58 min running time and that’s where the bait & switch comes into play as this was promoted as a Bruce Willis movie. Another massive fail is trying to credibly pass off JGL as Bruce Willis. Newsflash for the director Rian Johnson, we all know exactly what Bruce Willis looked like 30 years ago and it isn’t remotely in the same ballpark as JGL with or without a 6 hour makeup job!
The character development for the part of older Joe played by Bruce Willis is very inefficient (I’m being kind here). You’re supposed to feel sympathy for him when his wife 30 years into the future gets killed as the Gatmen are bagging him up for transport back to 2044 but there isn’t any, why you ask? Because you’re still trying to visually accept what you just saw a few minutes earlier, an obvious 55+ Bruce Willis shirtless snuggled up to a Chinese hottie at least two and half decades his junior contemplating having kids……you could here the groans across the audience, it was hard to watch and this defintly falls into things you wished you could unsee. This also happens right about the same time you just finished watching an accelerated time line of “Joe” age 30 years via 1 year, 5 year, 12 year etc….flashes. It starts with JGL and whamo….a switch into Bruce Willis that makes you go WTF, are you kidding me???? Once again massive fail on passing off JGL as Bruce Willis.
I could bitch about this for another six paragraphs but I’ll just sum it up like this. I waited for this movie for two months watching all the previews, reading most of the pre-release news on it and it feels like the following unpleasant scenario.
Seeing Looper feels like having a date with an ultra hot chic you planned on for two months, not only that, but you see her everyday at work and when the anticipated day arrives, she looks like she just stepped right out of Playboy magazine, every single thing about her just sizzles and damn you’re excited. The night progresses flawlessly and you’re making your smoothest moves like a pro. A little while later you’re back at her place having tantrum level foreplay right in the den of love when she changes gears with no warning and says “You know, like I don’t do this on the first date, let’s play a game of Scrabble”, ….yes it’s that kind of a blind side let down that leaves you with a consuming feeling of incompleteness as you drive home.
My only hope here is that someone in the future “closes the loop” on this P.O.S., remakes it the way it should have been and sends it back to our time for the golden payday.
Recommendation: Wait for DVD and hopefully use a promo code for a freebie.